Forgotten Memories
by JinkiesCrown
Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee are in the middle of a battle! What happens when they are captured by Road, and forced to rewatch their memories against their will? (NO PAIRINGS!)


"Lavi! Look out!" Allen warned the redheaded exorcist just before it shot at him.

The Bookman's apprentice succesfully dodged the deadly attack with ease. Using his Innocence-containing hammer, he managed to destroy the akuma

Lenalee was busy fighting off 3 level two's using her dark boots. She was already physically exhausted, and partially injured. But the adrenaline pumping through her veins didn't allow the injuries sensitivity to be as high as it would normally be.

"Why are you even trying, exorcists? You know we're going to win this war." A young girl with ashen gray skin spoke in a teasing manner. "Face it, it's hopeless!" The disfigured voice of an akuma rang in, elaborating the words of the Noah.

The harsh words of discouragement were ignored by each battle-enthralled exorcist.

Kanda wasn't having too much of an issue fighting the 2 level three's that were so focused on stealing his weapon. Even if they did, he would have no trouble getting it back from them.

The cynical demons mocked and teased the exorcists, leaving off an irritating aura of childish annoyance.

With a swing of his charm blade, Kanda defeated one of the Akuma.

At the same time, Lenalee was close to finishing off the obnoxious level two.

Allen and Lavi were both fighting off a series of level ones. Each one that was defeated, a new one came along.

"Dammit! Where are they all coming from!?" Lavi cursed.

"They're a gift from the Earl himself." Road spoke with a merciless tone.

Allen clenched his teeth. His enlarged, parasitic, innocence-containing hand was activated, transformed into a gun-like weapon. But each time he used it, it drained away at his energy, which meant he'd have to transform it into its original innovated form soon, or else he wouldn't be able to keep up.

With each exorcist battling the large supply of akuma, Road had enough time to set up her little game, the plans drawn out and everything in order.

"Alright, enough playtime," She began. "Now, it's time to have some real fun."

As though on command, the akuma's stopped everything and turned to Road.

"What happened?" Lavi said, staring at the multiple demons he had been fighting. His words had gone entirely ignored by the Noah.

"Say, how about we play?" She said in a sugar-sapped voice. Although she looked like a young teenage girl, there's was something much more sadistic behind her fake persona.

"Wait, what did you do? The akuma stopped moving.." Allen commented.

Road was growing irritated of her announcement going ignored, but she didn't dare allow it to alter her expression.

"We created them. We can control them...And we can destroy them." She said, earning the white haired exorcist's attention at her last words. She easily noticed this, which would make things much more fun.

A more sick, twisted grin was worn on the childlike face as the multiple akuma began imploding in on themselves. Each explosion triggered the next akuma's end.

Although, only one out of all could see the true horrors it caused. It was sickening just seeing each rotten, disintegrating soul above each and every killing machine. Each soul, calling out for their savior, begging for mercy, only to find silence. The agonizing pain of death ten-folding until their was nothing but the black abyss to comfort. Their burial of wrong-doings converting into the infinite burning of the devil himself.

A look of pure terror was etched into the boy's young, scarred face. He felt his breath hitch, but he refused to allow himself falter like last time. But it felt much more difficult to do so. It had only been one he hadn't been able to save before, but to see hundreds.. It was like throwing all his failures back at him. It was the horror only he was able to see. The curse his very own father marked him with in such a short time ago.

Each soul that had left the tortuous hollowed shell, escaping into dark matter, caused the cursed eye to flare up in a desperate chant to save the souls from their nominated fate.

The pain caused him to crumble down, his flesh hand pressed against his left eye in effort to make the pain stop.

It took everything in him to choke back the bile that burned his throat in order to keep it from raising any further than it already had.

Lavi's concerned voice broke him out of the unsettling trance he hadn't realized he had been pulled into.

"Are you okay?" Lavi nudged. It wasn't common to see their best warrior in a weakened state.

"Yes, I'm fine." Allen said dully. He stood up, cursing himself for giving in so easily. This wouldn't like last time.

With the akuma gone, Lenalee and Kanda gathered together with Allen and Lavi.

Kanda che'd, "What are you going to do with us, you Noah?"

"Nothing too bad. Some of you may even enjoy it." Her golden eyes wandered to Allen. "Others, not so much." She concluded.

"Any questions?" As expected, she was met with silence. "Good. Let's begin."

Unexpected to the exorcists, the outside was crumbling down all around them, creating large faults in the earth. Allen clung dearly to the soft green blades of grass, gravity pulling him towards the gaping hole. Lavi and Lenalee had both been entirely caught off guard, causing them to fall right through.

It had taken Kanda a while, but his predictions of the next crack allowed him to stay above ground for a longer amount of time, at least, until one of his predictions failed on him.

And with the three exorcists, the dark haired samurai reunited with them, although not in the way they had hoped.

Basically, there was a dog-pile of exorcists. Poor allen was on the bottom, next came Lavi, Lenalee, and in came Kanda. All were fairly dazed from the fall.

"K-Kanda..Please get off. You're..Really..Heavy.." Lenalee wheezed.

After recovering from from his confusion, Kanda got up and off of the pigtailed girl, almost positive and angry, fuming Komui would come bursting through a door.

After everyone separated from the pile, they finally had a chance to become aware of their surroundings.

It was a half-lit room, the walls were painted a dark plum color with golden accents.

In the room was an overstuffed, maroon-colored couch that sat behind a large cherrywood coffee table. To the front was a large television.

There seemed to be a hallway, but they didn't bother checking what was in the hall. They were too busy trying to figure out what was going to happen to them.

"Wait, what's all this? What's going on?" Lenalee wondered out loud.

"Take a seat, exorcists, and allow me to explain." Road said smoothly.

Though with hesitation, the exorcists took a seat.

"Good. You all have been sent here for a game. An endurance game, that is. Each of you will be watching each other's memories, including your own."

Allen was shocked at least, but at most, he felt incredibly invasive. He valued privacy, which definitely meant his own discomfort at his past being watched by his two closest friends, and Bakanda.

Lenalee hadn't felt very much at the thought of her own life being watched. She was generally a very open person, which meant what they would watch. She'd have already spoken about. Still, she'd prefer it if they weren't able to experience it before their very eyes.

Kanda, in all honesty, wasn't sure what they'd sure. But of course he felt disgusted by the thought of the three exorcists seeing his past. He didn't like to remember Alma, most of all. His memory was very blurry. He didn't know how to feel.

Lavi was the most fearful of what was to come. They would see wars, deaths, not too mention his identities. At the moment, he'd rather be anywhere but there. Playing Road's 'little game' could ruin the Bookman name forever! He knew it was awful to be so conceited, but his own name was at stake!

Each exorcist kept their poker face with no sign of wavering.

"Any volunteers?" Road spoke with a sly grin. When she didn't get an answer, the smile broadened. "Fine, I'll just have to pick somebody."

Her eyes observed each exorcist, before finally, her decision was made.

"Allen, why don't you go first? You seem to be the most excited." She said sarcastically, earning a silent glare.

"Let the show begin." She said. Slowly, the room darkened, and the screen broadcast a new scene.

**A young boy with auburn-colored hair, and steel gray eyes appeared on screen.**

For a moment, the exorcists in the room were confused. The boy looked nothing like Allen. Perhaps he was a friend?

**The boy was walking towards a man, knelt on the ground, his back turned towards the child. The outfit the man wore consisted of a colorful, oversized clown suit.**

**"Is he dead?" The boy finally spoke. The aspects of the child's face was more visible.**

**Multiple wounds were scattered across his face. Dirt was dashed along spots of his face, but when it came to his hair, the soil was caked into it, making it seem darker then it actually was.**

Lenalee thought back on when she had been speaking to Allen. Didn't he work at a circus as a child? Also, who was 'dead?'

**The scene casted upon a beaten animal. A beagle wearing a costume-like collar around its neck.**

**The presumed clown turned towards the auburn-haired boy, wearing no emotion in his eyes.**

**"He's dead."**

"Oi, Moyashi. What the hell is this?" Kanda finally broke the silence, causing the television to pause.

Allen stayed silent for a short moment. "This is when I met Mana."

Silence took over the room. Allen was the boy covered in bruises? The only thing they had in common would be their eyes. But even then, Allen's eyes were silver, full of life and determination. The child's were a dead steel.

The show continued.

**"He's covered in bruises." The young redhead boy said. "Cosimo probably did it 'cause the audience likes you more than him. He hates it when people are better'n him. He's got no talent except when it comes to stuff like this." He finished.**

"Who's Cosimo?" Lenalee spoke up.

Allen grimaced at the memory. "He was just another clown at the circus. He would get jealous easily and would beat his competition. Literally."

"Oh." Was all Lenalee said before folding her hands together and placing them in her lap, her stare was downcast.

**Mana placed a circus ball atop the makeshift grave he had been digging for Allen the dog.**

**"He was an old dog. He wouldn't have lived much longer anyways. It's all right."**

The current Allen felt his heart wring at the sound of his foster father's voice. It felt like it had been forever since he had last heard it. Apparently, now wasn't a good time to be thinking of the topic. The pigtailed exorcist shot him a concerned glance that he pretended not to see.

**"..Hm? You're not going to get revenge?" A suspicious look was firmly placed on young Allen's face.**

**"If I do that, I'll get thrown out of here and won't get paid." Mana said. He pressed his hands together and muttered a prayer for his motionless, non-human partner.**

**The child had a look of near-disgust at the man.**

**"I'm a newcomer, after all. After Christmas tomorrow, I'll move on to somewhere new."**

**By now, the boy looked bored. "I see."**

**Mana had a face of realization. "Hmm? Who are you, anyways?" He questioned.**

Lavi interrupted. "He told you all that and he doesn't even know who you were?" He seemed astonished by the fact.

Allen shifted uncomfortably. "Well, yes.. He did that with everybody."

"That could get him in trouble.." Lavi muttered.

"It did a few times. His memory was so off at the time.." Allen glanced downward, wearing an unreadable expression.

Lavi decided now would be the best time to shut his mouth.

The television progressed.

**"I do odd jobs. I brought you dinner once." The boy explained.**

**"I have a bad memory for faces." He used for an excuse.**

**At that, he didn't answer.**

**"Oh my! You're covered in bruises too, aren't you?" The clown said, licking his finger and smudged off the dirt on Allen's face.**

**"WAAH! GROSS! Get your spit off me, dummy!" The child practically shrieked.**

"Are you sure that kid's actually you, Beansprout?" Kanda said, glancing to the TV and back at Allen's face.

Allen rolled his eyes, "I may have changed a bit. But I'm pretty sure I'd be able to recognize myself. Oh, and my name is Allen. Two syllables, Bakanda!"

"Oh really? I was thinking, with that tiny brain of yours.." Kanda glanced at him, waiting for the reaction.

"Says the one who can't even remember a name!" Allen retorted.

"Both of you, stop! Don't make us stay in here longer than we have to." Lenalee scolded.

Although begrudgingly, they didn't say another word.

**"It's disinfectant." Mana muttered. "Did Cosimo beat you up?" The clown asked.**

**"Shut up." The child growled.**

By now, Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi were beginning to understand what Allen's life was like when he worked at the circus. Lavi pitied Allen. With the many places he's traveled, he knew the circus wasn't as they made it out to be.

Kanda hadn't known Allen had worked at the circus at all, but the smallest part of him held some form of sympathy for him.

Lenalee remembered their conversation, but she hadn't expected this. She felt the most sorry for Allen. But knowing him, he'd want anything but pity.

**"Don't you have any friends?" The grown man questioned.**

**"SHUT UP!" The boy hissed with venom.**

The pigtailed exorcist grimaced. Considering the things Allen had been through at that time, she supposed she understood why he had been so bitter.

Who wouldn't be after being abandoned by your own parents, then thrown into a circus with an abusive boss?

**"When I grow up, I'm getting out of here as soon as I'm strong enough, so I don't need any friends." The younger of the two pledged.**

Kanda had to admit, what the child said was honorable. Although, he'd never say it aloud.

**With no answer to be given, the clown pressed his hands against his cheeks and puckered his lips, creating a comical face.**

**The child sighed, "What're you doing?"**

"Allen, why weren't you laughing?" Lavi wore a goofy smile at the man's expression. It was rather a funny sight.

"I wasn't big on acts. Being a worker there, I had seen most of them already." Allen shrugged calmly. His eyes were downcast on the screen, a sad familiarity hidden within the gray orbs.

Lavi noticed this, and felt a tug of guilt at Allen's lost expression.

**"You didn't think it was funny?"**

Lavi had the urge to point out that he had said the same thing, but held his tongue.

**"Sorry. I don't like clowns n' stuff." The redhead paused before finishing. "In fact, I hate 'em."**

"Rough meeting.." Lenalee sweat-dropped.

"You hated clowns yet you worked at a circus?" Kanda said.

"I didn't exactly have a choice." Allen said with a frown.

**"Well, I hate crowds and children who don't laugh." Mana replied.**

**"Hmph."**

**After a short moment of quiet, the child spoke again.**

**"Aren't you gonna cry?" He said. "He lived with you for a long time, didn't he? Aren't you sad?" The young boy allowed his gaze to stay upon the dirtied circus ball that lay upon the grave.**

**"So sad I could die." Mana said, now stood with a rope around his neck, the other end tied to the branch of a large tree.**

**"Quit it!" Allen said, his eyes nearly the size of dinner plates at the man's crude humor.**

"Some sense of humor.." Kanda muttered, annoyed.

**"But I can't cry." Mana said. "Maybe my tears are dried up. They just won't come." He finished off.**

**The child sighed again. "What's with that?" He asked, before a thoughtful look replaced his tired expression. "What was his name?" A small gleam in his eye resembled remembrance.**

**"He licked my hand yesterday. His tongue was warm.." He trailed off.**

**A scene flashed upon the screen, Allen's deformed hand was exposed, being held out to the beagle.**

"Is that a big deal? All he did was lick your hand." Lavi said, a look of confusion was seen on his face.

A sad smile was firm on Allen's lips. Although, he felt hesitant to speak. "When I worked at the circus, I earned a few nicknames there because of my arm." He trailed off.

Lenalee spoke up, "..Like what?"

"Well, for one, they thought I was a demon.." He answered, albeit sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "When an animal, nonetheless, licked my hand. I guess just the fact that he chose to made me really happy." He shrugged.

Lenalee's eyes softened at Allen's way of thinking.

Kanda was surprised at most that even at a place like a circus, they would call a child a demon.

**It look the child a lot to choke out the next few words, his eyes had gathered tears, spilling over the brim. He looked almost frustrated with himself.**

**"So how come...I'm crying over him?" He said just before a sob tore his throat.**

Lenalee knew it didn't take a lot for a kid to cry, but for a hardened, bitter child-version of Allen, it seemed much more difficult than that. Seeing him cry, she felt her heart tear in half.

Lavi's eye held a warm expression. Allen was always a caring boy. But after being built up by his peers, it was normal for him to be treated horribly. It was an odd occurrence that any friendly gestures to him. To have a dog lick the hand he felt he had been cursed with must had been overwhelming for the child.

**Mana closed his eyes. "I see. You were Allen's friend, too."**

The screen darkened.

"Beansprout, why did he say 'Allen's friend'?" Kanda said.

"At the time, I didn't have a name. People mostly called me Red." Allen answered.

"But how are you Allen now?" Lavi popped in.

"I was named after Allen the dog. Mana had already begun to lose his mind, he didn't exactly see a difference between me and his dog.." Allen looked away.

"Oh."

Road's voice was broadcast across the room.

"Any requests?"

With no answer, she continued the show.

**Author notes:**

**At last, I've started a new story!**

**Any requests for the next memory of Allen's they will watch?**

_***The memory is from Chapter 166 of the D. Gray -man Manga Series.**_

_**2/1/15:**_

_***I've finished reading -man Reverse. I've corrected the fact that Cosimo wasn't in fact the ringmaster, but actually a clown. Thank you, Enna-x for the recommendation of reading it!**_

* * *

** Please don't forget to review!**


End file.
